MedeaPending

I used to be yours. one of your pieces you made me feel beautiful. you made me beautiful. In this dry dark place I forget. My pages crackle and I cry You used to keep my together. now I'm always falling apart pulled. confused. fuck I can't remember anymore. Everything feels different. I am wrong here. ugly and broken. What am I doing? you don't even look at me anymore

Acrylic on Canvas. Untitled. Not thinking. Dreaming. Wondering. Distracted. Layers. Lines. Patterns. Overlapping. Underlying.  Twisting. Blowing. Bright vibrant colors. Sun rise. Sun set. East, West. slight Rise. Solid orange  border, containing. The Window. Gradient background. Yellow. Red. Sunset. Sunrise. Watching. Trees blowing. Branches swaying. Placed haphazardly, but repetitive. Borders. Borders. Borders. Checkered: black and white. Green and yellow. Diagonal Lines. Blunt. marks. Flowingunbroken. Thoughts. Winds. Leaves. Dreaming. Free. Barriers.     BottomLeftBottomRightBlocksofcolorCheckeredoutlineBarriers. Work. Distra

To the soldier standing in the corner. Do you see beyond the shadows? Where is your gun little tin soldier Where do you hide it? behind all your metals and badges?     Behind all your tombstones and ditches. Where are your babies little mass murderer Standing in the street with their hands up?    Standing in the corner    in the shadows    in the dark    with their eyes    gluedshut. Where will you hide little devil of darkness when your gun goes off and the world around you fallsdown    wherewillyouhide with your little blind babies in a world filled with smoke and rubble and light?

He liked my singing So I tore at my throat shredding apart my vocal chords so the only notes left were 'I'm sorry'. He liked my writing So I broke my wrists and fingers refusing to ever write about our story again. He liked my art work So I threw it into a pit of fire watching as our symbolic memories screamed up from the flames. He liked my eyes. He liked my jokes and my kisses and how easy I was to hold So I broke down and gave him Hope. And then I left. leaving behind only a pile of ash and 'I'm sorry' crying up from the floor.

Step One. in becoming the girl you will never love - Move far far away, so wandering hands become prone. A result of having nothing within reach.                     I. When I lay beside you on slides                       and lean against you on rooftops,                        can't you hear my body thrumming,                       "Kiss me"? Step Two. in becoming the girl you'll have no problem forgetting - Constant

I don't want one of those sweet, heart rendering songs I want a song like a smack in the face and a bruise on the arm. The one that says Fuck You. I don't love you and this isn't home.

I'll wear black eyeliner instead of brown I'll listen to slow meaningful songs that don't really make sense     I'll pretend they do. I'll stop lying - I promise. I'll run a red light at 5:10 in the morning Instead of sitting there thinking how I had you so close and just let you walk away...again. I'll start wearing yellow. I'll start wearing jeans that don't sag. I'll be comfortable in this skin I promise Instead of tearing at these cords and screaming at the world to slow down - I'll run to catch up. I'll become that better person I'm always promising to become and it won't be for him   just me. I'll start working on t

It's not so much that the world has separated itself from me As it is I have separated myself from them...                                                  And their lies                                                  And their falsehoods                                                  And all their insecurities. I refuse to live in a world of tears. Where a child has no memory of married parents or having parents at all Where every teenager bares scars of oppression and expectations on their  shoulders                                                                                                                      and wris